Of course, this isn't anything any parent wants to occur or ever thinks might happen to his/her child. Of course, there are times when I don't sleep well or my thoughts cause my heart to sting a little. On the other hand, I'm not embarrassed, I'm not angry, and I'm trying to figure out how to best demonstrate Grace and the Holy Spirit in this situation. It's a bit of a balancing act because I cannot enable him; I can't contribute to his problems; but I feel in my heart that he needs to know that he is still loved, and that I still believe in the person he can return to and become.
I have a virtual visitation with him today, and I'm not sure how it's going to go. I'm hoping for the best. In some ways what has occurred to Chase may be indeed some divine intervention. His path was out of control, and I sincerely feared he would not only hurt himself, but here some other innocent person that would be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, he was pretty much homeless, and I was never sure where he was at or what he was doing. The uncertainty of whether or not your child is safe and healthy is very, very hard. With all this in mind, I know incarceration is giving him a roof and meals. I'm hoping there is also some counseling, but I'm not sure about that. And I know that at least for the moment he's not a danger to other innocent people.
I'm not bailing him out; I'm no longer allowing him to have access to my truck; I'm not giving him money; I'm not allowing him to stay at my home for any length of time unless he his clean and sober.
I don't know what the future holds; perhaps I will have a better insight after today's visit. He has a court date tomorrow. My hope is that he will be ordered into a drug treatment program, but I don't know how all of that works. I am prepared to contribute some money towards that, but I won't be able to foot the whole bill.
So for now, I'm going to do what I have been doing...hoping and praying. Thanks for listening.
No comments:
Post a Comment