6:40 a.m. - I don't remember my great-grandfathers, and to be honest, I don't think they were alive when I was born. My father is a good man and loving father to me, but he's not a social person. He prefers no more than small groups and really at this time in his life, is much more comfortable just being at home in front of the television or computer. His Dad worked at a jewelry store in East Moline called Sable's jewelry, and I really only saw him there at the store, at his home for holiday/family gatherings, or with horses at the fair or shows or rides. I think he would have liked to spend more time working with horses, but the store required a great deal of his time, even though I think he enjoyed it. My Dad and his Dad didn't have a great relationship; while I don't have a lot of specifics, my understanding was that my grandfather Bizarri was very hard on my father and not very loving. My Dad was the oldest of four boys, so maybe that had something to do with it. My Grandfather Bizarri died with regrets, and I fear my father will die with regrets as well, but I hope not. My Grandfather Westpfahl was more of a community person, although I don't know that I would call him social in the time that I knew him. His love was farming, but he also was a school board member and a leader on the county fair board, as he was the head of the sheep barn, even though I don't think he ever had sheep. My mom tells stories of her early days when they had dairy cows, and I remember the barn that they milked in, even though it wasn't a large dairy operation. My Grandfather Westpfahl was a proud farmer and loved the land. While my picture in my mind of my Grandfather Jim Bizarri is behind the counter of a jewelry case, my picture in my mind of my Grandfather Westpfahl is on a farm tractor. I helped on the farm quite a bit, and I even helped in the jewelry store too - two totally different places, but both great experiences. My Dad, though, was and is an awesome father to me. In a group, he's often awkward and louder, but with me he's quieter and gentler. He's still a parent in always giving me advice and guidance, but his health has deteriorated, some of it his own doing, but other by choice. My picture in my mind of my Dad is in a welding helmet in a factory busting his butt in factory conditions with an aching body doing what he could to keep his family going. I don't know that the Westpfahls had a great relationship with my Dad, but I know my Grandfather Westpfahl would do anything for them, which included buying a house for my family to live in - the old Minteer building, which eventually my brother would occupy. The other Dad in my life is Amber's Dad, Jack. He's a great Dad and grandfather. He loves to golf, and he also was a factory guy like my father for a time. I get the impression that he did whatever he needed to do to keep his family going as well. Isn't that the best quality of a Dad...someone that is willing and tries to do whatever he can to meet family needs? I'm not suggesting that isn't a "mother thing" too, but it seems to me that moms handle a little bit more of the compassion and emotional stuff and dads do the other stuff that give the family what it needs.
I don't know if I'll see Cole nor Chase today. I know Cole is umpiring his tail off, which is great. He said he's making $680 this weekend umpiring, and it takes me three weeks of working part-time at FedEx Ground to make that kind of money. He suggested I join him because umpires are needed, but I'm going to hold off until August. Even though all this Covid19 has had me home more, I've worked hard to do my job for the school district, and picking up this part-time job at FedEx Ground has been an experience. I need July off to prep myself for the upcoming school year and whatever comes with it. I'm not sure what Chase is doing; I did finally get a message from him earlier this week saying he just had a lot of stuff going on. I'm not sure what that means; that kid is a mystery. To be honest, as Dad legacies go, perhaps I would get pretty good grades in all the categories except Chase...I just made some missteps or didn't take the right steps some places along history to be of more help and guidance to him. I don't know that it means regrets, but maybe it is. I hope there's still time for me to be the Dad to him that I would like to be. Carmen is and always will be "my baby". Oh I know she is her mom's baby too, and that's perfectly okay. I'm not suggesting Carmen is ONLY my baby, but that girl has got a great mind. Her heart needs to get stronger, and she's got some learning experiences in front of her with her teaching profession that will be challenging, but her mind and hopefully me will help her strengthen her heart. She's going to be amazing because she has a passion for people, which she shares with me I think. None of my children are married yet; none of them have children, so know grandkids on the Bizarri side, but there's still time for that. Heck, I'm going to be living until I'm 100, so I got lots of time for grandchildren and great grandchildren. And now I've got a new truck and camper to taking them places!
While it's not really "the same", being a step-dad is part of the story isn't it? Karrigan, Kenzie, and Kourtney are all beautiful and wonderful but distinct personalities. And the family is growing. I'd like to believe that a place in their hearts, and that's a good thing. Amber and I try to be as helpful and supportive as we can be, and we spend a lot of time with grandkids and Sophie the grand-dog, which is sometimes hectic but also doable and okay and full of experiences that keep Amber and me young.
As for today...not sure...maybe a walk with Lily and Carmen. I want to get over and visit with Dad at least a little, as I have a card and some mixed nuts for him. I think the Killer B's are going to be with us - Brinley and Brooklyn. We may be going to watch Darren (Harrison) in his Demo Derby, but being around a lot of yelling and screaming people in a crowd with a 1 and 2-year old may not be ideal. After that..well, I'm not sure. I've got some mowing to do, and I need to wack the ditch weeds, but it rained last night and may rain today, so those jobs may have to wait until later in the week.
9:26 p.m. - We ended up going to the demo derby - Carmen, Amber, and I. Darren did pretty well, as I think he finished 6th. When we came home, Cole was here, and it was nice to visit with him. I got a message from Chase on Facebook Messenger. I think I'm going to head to bed and do some reading. Tomorrow, I need to mow the lawn, but we are also going to try to take the trailer to Loud Thunder.
Things that I NOW think about with the coronavirus. (6/21)
Hospitalizations dipped below 500 in Illinois, which is great. President Trump had a political rally in Tulsa, which was stupid. It will be interesting to see the fallout of Covid 19 cases with that event.
- Stats
- February 29 was the first reported positive case in Illinois.
- March 20, there were 585 reported positive cases.
- As of May 29 (3 months), there were 120,260 positive cases and 5,390 deaths.
- ILLINOIS PREVIOUS DAY
- hospitalizations - 512
- ILLINOIS YESTERDAY
- hospitalizations - 454
- ILLINOIS TODAY
- hospitalizations - 422
- ROCK ISLAND COUNTY
- YESTERDAY - 772 positive cases; 28 deaths
- TODAY - 785 positive cases; 28 deaths
- Fix the lock on the toolbox on the GMC.
- Paint the shed.
- Wack the weeds in the ditch.
- Continue working on restoring the channel of the ditch.
- Wack the wetland weeds.
- Sell the Dodge.
- Remove Dodge from insurance.
- Replace seals and gaskets in the pool motor.
- Get GMC rattle fixed.
- Hook up trailer for nights at Loud Thunder.
- Look into Gap insurance for the GMC
Prayer for My Heart
Holy Spirit...
Help me have...
a pure heart, that I may see thee;a humble heart, that I may hear you;
a heart of love, that I may serve you;
a heart of faith, that I may abide in you.
Amen
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