When trying to help students improve their written communication skills, incorporating transitions into student's writing always seems to be challenging. Finding the right combination of words to take the reader from one talking point to the next in a smooth and articulate fashion is work.
The same problem seems to be evident in other types of transitions - transitioning to a new job, moving to a new location, starting or ending a relationship, beginning a new hobby or activity, starting a family or transitioning to an "empty nest" again. These examples cause us to make switches in our lives that essentially take us from something important in our lives to something different.
When I work with students on writing transitions, I tell them that often the best transitions only come after all the paper has been written. I tell them not to get stuck on transitions between paragraphs in the first drafts, just jump into the next talking point, and come back later to create or revise a transition.
Perhaps life transitions are similar. When going from one life event to the next, try not to get stuck attempting to find the best transition. Perhaps we need to cut ourselves a little slack, and give ourselves a little time in the new situation or event - let a little more of our lives get written before attempting to figure out how we are going to make it from one part of our lives to the next. In the moment, if we get ourselves stressed out about HOW we are going to make it, maybe that just gunks up the process of creating a transition even more.
My recent example is now having all of my children graduated from high school. No more games, banquets, events, etc., to attend. All three of them now are going different directions that don't point towards my house, my life, my care for them. They aren't going away to be hurtful; they need to find their own paths; they are experiencing their own transitions. And there are moments that I really feel the heaviness of missing them.
Rather than getting too upset in these moments, I give myself an opportunity to be a little sad, to hope the best for them, and to be proud of the good-hearted young adults they have become. And I give myself a chance to consider potential aspects of my transition that might be enjoyable for me. I now have additional time officiate more, which is fun for me and helps my income. I now have additional time to make visits with my parents, which I plan to do more in 2019, because my new empty nest can give me a chance to go hop into my parents' empty nest, which they have experienced now for a quite a few years.
And while transitions do require us to reflect on past, transitions also allow us to anticipate on future. One of my step-daughters has a beautiful healthy daughter that is about to turn one year old, and spending time with her is awesome. Plus, that same step-daughter is expecting this Spring, and her sister is now expecting her first child as well. By this time next year, three step-grand children will be in our lives!
And my own children are experiencing their own transitions. My oldest will be relocating to a new area, the middle child will be entering her final year of college, and my youngest will be making his plans on where to transfer for his next two years of college. I think in some ways my home is now going to be like an airport, with children and step-children (and step-grandchildren) flying in and out - sometimes for a brief visit when they can or on holidays, and sometimes when they need a little help with something. So in some ways, my current transition is to try to provide the best airport I can possibly provide, while also taking an occasional flight myself to visit my own parents and spend time with them.
Time doesn't stand still; it's full of transitions. Rather than allowing the awesome memories of the past fill me too much with sadness, I want to remember those with love and happiness, and look forward to making the "airport" the best it can be for others - possibly to help them with their transitions.
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